Ok, I feel sheepish!
The person who made the remark that hurt me called me today. I mistook what she said, and heard something she didn't say. She actually said, "it's so different when you can take them home." Which is quite different from what I thought I heard. She was mortified that I thought she'd said the other thing.
So it's all good. I'm going to leave the post up though, because although it's not what I heard this time, I have had people say something like this to me in the past. Maybe my subconscious is just looking for reasons to get defensive. I am so not in control of any of this that I think I get a bit overprotective.
Thanks for all your kind comments, though. It's so important to be gentle with one another.
Good for you! We all make mistakes- speaking and hearing and interpreting what is said. I think this is a really good opportunity for us all to learn about speaking and listening with love and grace!