Call it spring fever, winter doldrums, hormone-induced depression, boredom, or wanderlust, I have been having issues this week. I keep thinking, "I have a credit card. I could just run away." The only problem with that solution is that I would still be with myself, and I think that that is what I need a break from. Ever just get sick of being in your own skin? I can never get far enough away.
“I don’t know why, but over the last few weeks, I have felt so very restless. I have felt like I’d like to find the zipper that opens me up so that I can escape from myself for just a few minutes.”
That’s the way one of my blogging buddies put it in a post this morning.
My pastor puts it this way, “Wherever I go, there I am.”
I can relate. I think we all can. I call those “Montana Moments” because Montana seems to be a remote place but not so far that you couldn’t get there.
This, too, shall pass Allyson. But if you ever want to run somewhere, you can run here! I miss you.
The urge to escape is never far from me, but these days it’s been more intense. I think the same thing about using my credit card to break out! (Maybe we could plan a secret rendezvous.) But Kim’s pastor is right: Wherever I go, there I am. Some people don’t understand when I say that I’m sick of myself. It’s good to know that others do. But that doesn’t get me any further away from here or me.
When living by yourself, you are all that is there, and you REALLY can’t get away. You go to any room of the house or apartment, and there YOU are, with your thoughts.
But if you need to get away, you know you can come down here and get sick of me, instead of yourself.
follow these steps:
1. envision the goal (new house, etc.) or the scary credit card bill (whichever will motivate)
2. freeze the credit cards in water if all else fails
Yeah, wherever you go there you are. One of my arguing/ frustration points- Jesus says cut off whatever makes you sin. What happens when it’s you. I don’t debate the sin needs to go away, it’s just overwhelming when you can’t get rid of you. Grrrrr.