It's hard to tell people over and over, so I'm just going to post here. When I have a better handle on my emotions, I'll be able to talk about it, but not yet. The birth mother went back to her home state of Kentucky last week and had the baby there. Our caseworkers don't know what she's going to do there, but it seems safe to assume that if she does plan an adoption, it will be in Kentucky's system and not ours. At least we know now. I admit I had some bad moments yesterday, trying to understand what the heck God is doing and why it seems so necessary to play with my heart like this.
There are small compensations along the way, the sort of things that have helped me through every heartache I've had in my life. Friends, books, tea, chocolate, spring, grey kitties, blooming lilacs, baby plants in my garden, birds singing, bees bumbling around. Playing and making and moving. Singing and drawing and cooking. If I focus on what I DO have, instead of what is missing, I realize how very, very rich I am. I am definitely rich in wonderful people to love and to love me.
I’m right with you on the refocusing. Beautiful thoughts, beautiful picture. Love you.
Sniff. Eyes full of tears and tumbling down my cheeks; heart aching. . .I love you Allyson.
I’m crying with you and asking the Lord in His abundant mercy to comfort you.
Yeah. There is all that. And the brokeness and loss are a hard blessing.
He is not a Tame lion.
Oh… oh Ally, my heart goes out to you… I can’t imagine being that close and having it go away… prayers for you and Chad… call if you want to talk…
big tears here too….. I sure don’t get it. be hugged, my friend.
My heart is so very sad for you Allyson…I can’t even imagine the ache you must feel. I’ll continue praying for you and that God will bring your baby to you soon.
So sorry. Thinking of you and praying for you & Chad.
love you. prayers and hugs. we’re always here for you both. He has a plan.
Love you and praying for you sweet girl!