Any Similar Revival

It makes me so happy! We've been playing outside everyday, soaking it all in. I am trying to stay positive, but it's crunch time with this little guy. The next three months are critical for his birth parents, and it is going to come down to the wire. We know he'll be living with us until mid-June for sure, but beyond that, it's anyone's guess. I waffle between absolute terror that he is going to go back and peacefulness knowing that God is in control and has a plan. Not one bit of this is up to me and Chad, and nothing we do or don't do will make a bit of difference. The case workers, GAL and judge will make this decision. And I am torn, because I am hoping that his birth parents screw up. I'm hoping they fail so I can keep their kid. This causes some serious conflict in my heart. But I am only human, and I love this boy. I want him to stay with us forever. Pray for us, when you think of it, over the next months. We are going to need it.

For Olivia's birthday present, I told her to pick a place for lunch and something fun to do, whatever she wanted. She picked Sweet Mango for lunch, just so she could have the entire order of basil rice for herself.

I can't blame her though. Her choice of restaurant also meant that I could have my entire order of noodles to myself. Super yum!

We did, however, share the fried ice cream.

For her activity, she chose ice skating, though she has never been ice skating in her life. It's been a while for me, too, so I was a little apprehensive about the whole idea. Apparently, Ice Land is the place to be on Saturday afternoons. It was totally packed! Little girls in figure skating outfits, little hockey boys whizzing around chasing each other, moms and dads with small children clutching at hands, kids skating behind huge pylons–it was crazy! I don't have any photos of actual ice skating. My arm had been commandeered by a sweet nine-year-old who was holding on for dear life. She fell, she counted, seven times, which is not bad for someone who has never been skating before. I did not fall once, even though she was holding onto me each time she fell. My arm is sore, though. Here are some photos from before:

It was a lovely birthday date!

Little A is into birthdays these days. After attending two birthday parties for friends, he breaks out into spontaneous versions of "Happy Birthday" many times a day. Of course, he won't sing on demand, which is sad when it is ACTUALLY somebody's birthday celebration. Today, we went to Dan's Dogs with Aunt Cynthia to celebrate her birthday. Little A was most excited about the ice cream.

See that silly face? I asked him to smile. He was too distracted to really do it.

Aunt Cynthia let him finish hers, too.

It was a very nice birthday party, and Little A did at one point sing "Happy Birthday" for Cynthia.

This past weekend, we celebrated our little friend Jillian's first birthday!

(Giving me a coy look here!)

We had a lot of fun, because we got to play with all of our friends!

(Someone loves his Auntie Sarabeth!)

Happy Birthday Jillian!

His favorite game is "Car BOOM!" which consists of two people sitting opposite one another with matchbox cars. You both roll the cars with great speed and try to make them go BOOM. I hate it. I won't play it. So instead, we built a ramp yesterday. Now granted, he still lined up the cars so that the car on the ramp would hit something at the bottom, but at least it wasn't countless rounds of ramming cars at each other.

See that light? It's TOAST.

It makes him so very happy.

The End.

Yesterday, I had a sick little boy on my hands. We stayed home from all activities and jobs and watched the snow fall. We also watched the birds, voracious flocks of robins and grackles, attacking the little berries and crabapples on the trees. Little A looked at me and said, "Birds HUNNIG!"

Also, my stunning red amaryllis, blooming for the second time. The blooms are bigger than my man-hands.

He seems to be doing better today. We will have another day at home, as the snow has managed to shut down the world.  I'm hoping the birds come back for another visit.

Little boys, being silly.

Silly Uncle. Blurry. . .SIGH.

Silly BFF.

Silly boy at the zoo, afraid of the monkey statue. He thought it was real at first and wouldn't sit down with it.

Yummies at Presti's in Little Italy.

AND yummies at Fiesta Jalapenos with the gang. . .

And lots of silly little kids. Silly seems to be my theme.

Happy Birthday Olivia!

At least it is no longer January! It lasted like 500 years this time. I am pouting about the winter weather, pouting about that stupid rodent seeing his stupid shadow, pouting about being sick forfreakingEVER, pouting about feeling blah, and feeling rather virtuous about scrubbing the upstairs bathroom, which was, as I don't usually use it, getting Really Gross.

I just don't feel very bloggy lately. I feel boring. Same ole, same ole.

So I will fall back to my default settings and just post some pictures. That's what everyone likes, right?

Little A and Mike. These two are TROUBLE.

My sweet boy, doing homework. SIGH.

And someone is entirely too gorgeous.

I could make all kinds of promises about how I am going to blog more and be interesting, but I think they might be lies. So we'll just take it one day at a time.

Not that I think you're all out there clamoring for more or anything. I just hate feeling like a slacker.

We are getting slammed this winter with one icky sick after another. Amazingly, Little A hasn't really gotten any of it. It's been mostly me, and now, him.

Isn't he so cute and pitiful? Actually, it was kind of a rough night. He had a high fever, around 103, and he was so cold and shivery. I felt really helpless. Thankfully, the fever broke during the night, and today he feels a bit better, but not 100% by any means.

She helps when we're sick, a purring hot water bottle.

The best thing about these pictures? They were taken with my new camera! Woo hoo! It was waiting for me last night when I got home from work. Too bad it's cold and dreary out there. . . .

We went to the beach twice on our trip. It was cold and wet the first time–the wet sand clung to my rain boots and our cheeks glowed damply. The sky was overcast, grey and lightless, the sea foamy and colorless. It was even too cold to smell that familiar smell of salt and briny decay. Still, shells dotted the dark, wet sand, and sea gulls huddled around hopefully. They missed the summer crowds and easy pickings. Rejoicing over every bit of flotsam on the beach, the Clotworthy kids rushed up and down the sand, picking up everything, no matter how broken and battered. Little A couldn't figure out any of it, walking along with his fat hands jammed into his coat pockets, brow furrowed, boots stomping. 

The second time was just the three of us, late in the afternoon of our last full day. It was clear and sunny–the sun low, turning everything to gold. Unlike our first grey day, the ocean shimmered blue and serenely. The sand was dry this time, and it was harder to find footing in my clunky rainboots. Knifing cold wind stung our eyes and cheeks, forcing Little A to hide his face in my neck. Only when I let him play chicken with the waves at the ocean's edge did he warm up to the idea of the beach. Lifting him up every time the surf approached, I laughed at his kicking snow boots, his overwhelming desire to get in that water! Chad took a million pictures, which he does every time he gets the camera. It wasn't really a good beach day–much too cold and windy, but I loved that golden quality of light and air. Will we be back at the beach with Little A in July? I don't know the answer. Chad and I will be there, in the hot, baking sun, digging our feet into the sand, riding the waves and loving every minute. But I wonder about that small boy. Will I be slathering him over with sunscreen, saving him from drowning (a very real possibility with our fearless water baby), laughing at his first taste of salt water? I hate the uncertainty.

Sometimes, she just appears out of nowhere, like that game at Chuck E. Cheese, Whack-a-mole. Usually, we're eating at the table, and she lightly taps our thigh with her dainty paw until we give her what she wants or we whack her. It depends on how persistent she's been.

Today, she got lucky.

January keeps passing by, even though I feel stalled. I've been sick for the past two days, feverish and achy, snotty and swollen. It's been fun. I can't taste anything, which is most discouraging, and I think I've gone through at least two boxes of Kleenex. Here are some photos from Before I got The Sick.

Catching up with our old, dear friends, Brandon and Marie.

Icicles outside the kitchen window.

Hanging out in the Big Truck.

Emma with an icicle almost as big as she is!

Snowmen. Snowgirls. Snowforts.

Snow Snacking.

Hoping for more energy in the days ahead–more fun, more snow, more play, more makin' stuff, more TASTING stuff.

Feeling a bit better after my funk from Thursday.

We've been doing a lot of playing.

And we've had fires in the fireplace, truck races through the dining room, marathon scrapbooking sessions while Daddy Chad has been home today, and friends over for pizza and playtime tonight.

I am remembering what my normal looks like, a little bit. I just have to remember to do today today, and not worry about next week or next month or six months from now. I'm not really that good at it, but I'm learning.