Wow–just read one of the blogs I visit every couple of days– www.superherodesigns.com/journal/ which I love because I find her inspiring to my creativity. But today she wrote of a topic close to my heart, something I don’t talk about all that much. But I totally resonate with what she’s written. I’m there. I know what it’s like to hate perfectly nice women just because they’re pregnant. Even when they are related to you, or your friend, or someone you’ve been praying for. Anyways, her title is "Misery Loves Company," and she said that it just helps to know she’s not alone. And that is true. I’m not alone, and sharing this burden with others makes it less staggeringly, overwhelmingly heavy.
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That’s right . . . you’re not alone. I, too, have found strength and comfort in sharing the burden with others, and the encouragement to keep on keeping on ! It’s a true gift to know there are so many others who know . . . . ! I’m sorry that we both are trapped in this fertility maze . . . love and prayers to you.
okay, your two posts (cabin fever and this one) were hitting waaaay too close to home. I always feel so guilty when I get jealous, glad to know I’m not the only one who struggles with this feeling. I laughed out loud when you said you hate perfectly nice women, because I know it’s not right, but sometimes you just want to stamp your feet and be like, why is it so easy (biologically, financially, spiritually, etc.) for them to be that way, and not for me. but then I have to remember that God’s timing is so much better than mine and it will all make sense in the end. and then I’m scared and realize that I wouldn’t want people to hate me someday, but maybe that’s inevitable? also while it’s the “greatest joy”, it’s also hella scary to be a parent. learning to love and enjoy where I’m at and who I am, maybe that’s the lesson here. and remember, you can scrap and do whatever you want now. eat only macaroni and cheese or cookies for a week, stay out until late late, no naptimes or diapers to ruin the fun 🙂
love you 🙂
I just want you to know that I am praying for you…